listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Terrible idea I love it
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
