yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
