I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I don't deserve a penis
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
