i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
