If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
