u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
