Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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