This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
