Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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