This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
