No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
