I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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