pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
