people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
