she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
