It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Acid is not a monday night drug
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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