Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
