I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
