so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
