I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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