ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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