the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
