I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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