why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
