there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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