Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I need moral support for this bender
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
