i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
