he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
