i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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