Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
