He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
