This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
