I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
