"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
you never un-have a 4some
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
