6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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