I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize