I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
