i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just googled if crying burns calories
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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