Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
