why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
