dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
