just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
