What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
