i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
