please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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