Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
