i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
