Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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