Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
