How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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