so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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