Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
