I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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