We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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