Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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