Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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