Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
