And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
