wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
this hospital has no fireball
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
