if you like me you must not know who I am
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize