who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
