names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
