Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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