No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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