honey bunches of taint.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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